Swipe left. Rate me. Are we a perfect match?
The thrust and parry of dating is difficult work. As we all may know, even in the age of internet dating, first dates are not always going to be perfect. Yes, it’s easier to bounce back in the age of “swipe left”. What if all you have is a collection of first dates and that second date becomes elusive? At some point, most of us have looked in the mirror and asked, “Is it me?”
There is no simple formula to predict the successful date. If that were the case, the formula might be as simple as this: Two people meet. The first is an asshole. The second person chases the asshole and their evasive behavior. The first person is finally won over, the second person is thrilled and the two live happily ever after.
Different tastes for different people provide too many variables to this formula. Mistakes on first dates are likely to happen. The best route to take is to minimize mistakes that can be avoided.
We head into that first date looking to make a great first impression. The mistake that is made is that you are not true to yourself. Simply agreeing with the ideas or beliefs of the other person is not the greatest way to begin a relationship. Your true beliefs are bound to come forth if a relationship or a second date occurs.
Be true to yourself. You may not agree with the other person, but there is also no need to agree simply to save a discussion. Pick your battles, yes, but make that good first impression by being your true self.
Avoid tying yourself to an agenda or future outcome. “What-if scenarios” may cloud your thoughts and may set you up for a disappointing evening. The point of the first date is to get out there and have fun while getting to know this new person. Live in the moment and questions like “Should I kiss her?” will answer themselves.
First dates are about getting to know the other person. There is a tendency to speak too much about oneself. There’s sharing, yes, and then there’s over sharing. It’s okay to talk about yourself, but make sure you are talking with the other person, not talking at them.
The perfect way to do that: Set aside the phone and other electronics. The surest way to connect with them is to actually engage with them. The Facebook notifications can wait. This other person has you here and now so enjoy the moment.
Avoid these mistakes and that second date may not be as elusive as it once seemed.